To Tell the Truth
by Red Witch
Summary: Forge makes a lie detector machine. If you think this is a good thing you're not being honest.


**If I'm going to be honest with you, you have to know that I don't own any X-Men Evolution and GI Joe characters. This is another mad fic that ran into my mind. I have no idea where they come from. Honest! **

**To Tell The Truth**

"For crying out loud Forge what did you make now?" Rogue groaned. Several of the X-Men were in the kitchen where Forge was displaying a strange object. It looked like a mutated Gamecube.

"Check it out," Forge said proudly. "It's a lie detector."

"A lie detector?" Kurt looked at the device. "How does it work?"

"Well this flux modulator is triggered by the vibrations in your vocal cords and records the data in the storage capacitor unit which is then…" Forge began.

"In English Einstein," Danielle interrupted him.

"Just speak normally and if you lie it will make a noise," Forge said.

"Why do we need a lie detector?" Dead Girl asked. "We've got three telepaths around here and Logan to scare the daylights outta people."

"For the fun of it," Forge shrugged. "Why not? Go on, try it!"

"Okay…" Kitty grinned. "So what do you guys really think about my cooking?"

"It's horrible," Rogue said quickly.

"Terrible," Kurt added.

"Makes me grateful I'm already dead," Dead Girl added.

"Forge it's not doing anything," Kitty said. "It must be broken."

"No, its working," Forge said.

"Come on Kitty, even **you** can't deny that your cooking is awful," Rogue said.

"My cooking is not that bad!" Kitty said defiantly.

BEEEEEEEP! The machine went off. Everyone looked at her.

"Looks like it's working pretty fine to me," Rogue grinned.

"Okay so it needs a little work," Kitty admitted.

BEEEEEP!

"All right! My cooking is a disaster! Are you happy?" Kitty shouted. "It's not like my cooking ever hurt anyone!"

BEEEP!

"OH SHUT UP!" Kitty snapped at the machine.

"I think I'm gonna like this thing," Rogue grinned. "Oh Remy…"

"You called?" Remy walked into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"What were you doing just now?" Rogue asked.

"Nothing much," Remy shrugged. "Just taking a walk."

BEEEEP!

"Ooh! This is gonna be good!" Dead Girl grinned.

"What is that thing?" Remy asked as he looked at the device.

"Lie detector," Rogue said calmly. "You wanna take another shot at answering the question?"

"Yeah what were you really doing?" Danielle asked.

"Nothing," Remy remarked. "Remy was doing nothing."

BEEEP!

"This little do hickey here says otherwise," Dead Girl told him.

"What says otherwise?" Pietro zoomed in. Todd, Lance and Wanda walked in behind him. "What's going on?"

"Forge's lie detector caught Remy telling a lie," Kitty said. "And he's trying to squirm out of it."

"Ooh! This is gonna be good!" Pietro sat on a counter and rested his chin on his hands. "I'm in!"

"I wouldn't talk if I were you Pietro," Wanda remarked. "If you say anything that machine is liable to blow up!"

"We can torture him later," Todd said. "I wanna hear what Gambit did."

"I wasn't doing anything!" Remy snapped.

BEEEP!

"Come on Swamp Rat," Rogue said. "Spill it."

"All right! Remy was just up by your room and trying to see if you were in there," Remy admitted. "That's all I did!"

BEEEP!

"You were looking through my underwear drawer again, weren't you?" Rogue started to get mad.

"No!" Remy defended. "Remy did not touch your underwear drawer!" There was silence. "See?"

"What did you do?" Pietro asked. "Go through her closet?"

"No!" Remy snapped.

BEEEP!

"Okay," Rogue got up. "You're dead!" Remy ran out the door and Rogue chased after him.

"What the heck did the Cajun do now?" Logan asked as he walked in with Jubilee. He looked out the window. "And why is Rogue dunking him in the pool?"

"Rogue caught him poking around in his room thanks to Forge's lie detector here," Danielle said.

"Lie detector?" Jubilee asked. "That's pretty cool."

BEEP!

Everyone looked at Jubilee. "Okay I could care less!" Jubilee threw up her hands.

"Well at least we know it works," Logan chuckled. "I think we're gonna get a lot of use out of this."

"Yeah," Todd had a mischievous grin on his face. "Like, how do you feel about Lance, Kitty?"

"That's none of your business Toad!" Kitty snapped.

"Yeah Kitty loves me," Lance said. He looked at her. "Do you?"

"Well yeah, I do," Kitty said. "See nothing happened."

"And I love Kitty," Lance grinned. "And I only have eyes for her and she only has eyes for me! There! Are you satisfied?"

"Do you only have eyes for Lance, Kitty?" Wanda asked.

"Uhhhh…" Kitty gulped and nodded.

"Excuse me?" Todd put a hand to his ear. "I didn't hear that!"

"You know what I said," Kitty snapped.

"You didn't say anything," Jubilee remarked.

"Yeah…" Lance looked at her.

"Whose side are you on?" Kitty snapped at Jubilee.

"I think you'd better answer the question Half Pint," Logan groaned.

"What is this? The Spanish Inquisition or something?" Kitty snapped.

"Nobody expects the Spanish…" Dead Girl began. Everyone looked at her. "Sorry. I couldn't resist."

"Do you still have feelings for Peter?" Lance asked Kitty. "Yes or no?"

"What? No!" Kitty stammered.

BEEEEEP!

"I KNEW IT!" Lance shouted as he stormed off.

"Lance! Wait!" Kitty ran after him.

"I think out of all your gadgets this is my favorite," Todd chuckled.

"You just had to ask that didn't you?" Logan glared at him.

"Yes," Todd nodded.

"Well as long as we're playing Truth or Dare here," Jubilee piped up. "Logan have you been smoking again?"

"I haven't smoked in months," Logan told her.

BEEP!

"AHA!" Jubilee shouted.

"All right, all right!" Logan threw up his hand. "I had a cigar last night in the woods!"

"How could you?" Jubilee whined. "You promised you'd given that nasty habit up!"

"Oh for crying out loud, I just needed to calm my nerves okay?" Logan turned on her.

"That stuff is dangerous!" Jubilee went on. "I don't want you to get cancer!"

"I have a healing factor! I'm not gonna get cancer!" Logan shot back at her.

"It doesn't matter! What if it slips or something!" Jubilee whined. "It's bad enough being an orphan. I don't want to lose you!"

"You are not going to lose me!" Logan threw up his hands.

"I will if you don't stop your addiction!" Jubilee stomped her foot.

"I am not an addict!" Logan snapped.

BEEEP!

"AH HA!" Jubilee shouted.

"Look I am the adult here! I can do whatever I want and you don't have any say about how I run my life? Got it?" Logan growled.

BEEEEP!

"Who am I kidding?" Logan moaned as he began to walk away.

"Don't you walk away from me Mister!" Jubilee stormed after him. "Do you want me to get those lung cancer brochures again?"

"Yeah Forge, this lie detector is going to help a **lot** around here!" Dead Girl grinned.

BEEEP!

"I guess it doesn't have a sarcasm switch," Danielle remarked.

"What is going on here?" Jean asked as she and Xavier entered the room. "Kitty and Lance are fighting. Jubilee is screaming at Logan. Logan is just banging his head against the wall saying something about killing Forge. And Rogue just hung Remy by his shorts on top of the flagpole in the back."

"And the Swamp Rat deserved it!" Rogue stormed in. "That'll teach him to go snooping in my room!"

"Why do I have the feeling that device on the table had something to do with it?" Xavier raised an eyebrow.

"Forge made a lie detector," Danielle explained. "A very accurate one."

"Why would you make a lie detector?" Jean asked Forge.

"I thought it would be useful at the time," Forge shrugged.

BEEEP!

"Okay! I just wanted to do it for the fun of it," Forge sighed.

"Forge we really need to talk about your little projects…" Xavier sighed.

"Go away you moron," Ororo stormed in with Shipwreck behind her. "I don't know how much clearer I can put it to you."

"But I love ya Stormy!" Shipwreck said. "I think you're the most beautiful woman on the planet!"

BEEEP!

"Well this should be interesting," Todd chuckled. "So who do you consider the most beautiful woman on the planet, Shipwreck?"

"What?" Shipwreck asked.

"Forge made a lie detector and it's driving everyone crazy," Wanda told him.

"In other words it works just as well as all his other flamin' inventions," Logan stormed in. "Charles, do me a favor. If Jubilee tries to schedule an intervention for me, could you do something to make her forget?"

"Logan I cannot do that. You know that I don't use my powers to alter other people's thoughts," Xavier said.

BEEP!

"Unless it's absolutely necessary," Xavier added. The beeping stopped.

"You mean like you spy on the kids when they go on dates?" Shipwreck asked.

"I've told you before I don't spy on my student's private lives," Xavier told him.

BEEP!

"Okay maybe that one time when Scott and Jean were in the pool after midnight…" Xavier blushed.

"Professor!" Jean gasped.

"I didn't mean to do it!" Xavier told her. "It was an accident! The two of you were broadcasting so loud I'm amazed half the planet didn't hear your thoughts! It was just that one time!"

BEEEP!

"In my defense I had no idea you and Scott were in the Danger Room," Xavier put his hand on his head. "I left immediately when I saw…uh…"

"What kind of maneuvers they were doing?" Shipwreck chuckled.

"This is so embarrassing!" Jean moaned.

"This isn't working the way I thought it would," Forge gulped.

"No kidding!" Logan snapped.

"Your inventions never work the way you think they would!" Rogue threw up her hands. "Haven't you figured that out by now?"

"I believe I'll take the fifth on that question," Forge grumbled.

"I love this!" Pietro laughed. "A mess that you X-Men can't blame on the Misfits!"

BEEP!

"Well mostly," Pietro looked sheepish.

"How would you like it if we asked you guys some questions?" Rogue snapped.

"Yeah like would you like to go on a date with me, Storm?" Shipwreck grinned.

"He never learns does he?" Wanda rolled her eyes.

"I would never consider going on a date with you!" Ororo shouted.

BEEE…

"SHUT UP!" Ororo screamed at the machine. Her hands started to glow with traces of electricity. It stopped in mid beep.

"I knew it! I knew ya liked me!" Shipwreck shouted.

"No I don't!" Ororo shouted.

BEEEP!

"Storm likes Shipwreck!" Todd chanted. "Storm likes Shipwreck!"

"Will you knock it off?" Jean said. "Don't be so immature."

"Storm likes Shipwreck! Storm likes Shipwreck!" Shipwreck danced around. "Who hoo! Oh yeah! Its party! Storm likes Shipwreck! Go Shipwreck! Go Shipwreck!"

"Forge, remind me to **kill **you later!" Ororo glared at him.

"Take a number," Logan told her.

"Come on, you know there's nothing wrong with one little date!" Shipwreck protested. "I'll be a perfect gentleman! Honest!"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

That was when the machine exploded. "Well I knew **one** of 'em was gonna make it do this," Rogue coughed.

"Back to the drawing board huh?" Forge coughed.

"In your case I think it's time we **blew up** the drawing board," Logan glared at Forge.


End file.
